Happy New Week/Legal Disclaimer

Happy new week! Or not so happy, last week I had good news, bad news...all types of news but here we are thanking God for a new week.

Official 2nd Thisday Music Festival Artist Line-up

Ne-yo
Rihanna
Kelly Rowland
Shakira
John Legend
UB40
D'banj
Sasha - Storm In Da Buildin
Naeto-c - Storm In Da Buildin
Asa
P-Square
Tuface
Charly Boy & Lady D
Tee-Mac

It sounds like something not to be missed!


So the TL WA Blogville Edition is finally here - featuring Adaure, Taureanminx, Bella Naija, Bimbylads and myself. Check it out here.

First off, I would like to acknowledge and thank the True Love West Africa team for the feature.

However, yet another disclaimer is in order as I am aware magazines tend not to include everything you say in an interview, in which case I tried to be as diplomatic as possible but OH NOOOOOOOO - I come across as some cheesy Nigerian techy who brags about her blog....well, there is freedom of speech so...

1st paragraph: I was asked about my occupation although that has nothing to do with blogging really. I mentioned about enjoying blogging cos I am able to pass information to Nigerians around the world about bla and bla and hence you get an audience/following.

2nd paragraph: I do not surf the net as a so called IT GURU. I would probably get sacked. I only mentioned I work in IT consulting when asked my occupation - how that relates to writing a blog beats me.

3rd paragraph: I am a Nigerian at heart hence the name Naija to the Core was my response, all that flag flying stuff is corny but I guess that is what sells.

4th pargraph: Out of the twenty-something questions they asked, they asked me how many hits I received and I looked at the total number of hits since I started (at the bottom of this page) and divided it by the number of months I had been blogging. Didn't just say how many hits I receive - or trying to brag about how my blog is so great or that I have a LARGE POOL OF NIGERIANS LOL?!!!!! Although I mentioned, sometimes I go M.I.A. and people call me/email/leave messages to update BECAUSE I am M.I.A. so I know I have to deliver.

5th paragraph: This is soooo wrong, they asked if I make money from it and I said no I don't although there are ways to make money from blogging e.g. Google AdSense. They even emailed me to re-confirm whether I intend to make money and I responded saying I haven't thought about that unless in the future. Arrghhh

Last paragraph: I mentioned advantages and disadvantages of blogging and one disadvantage would be not updating where you lose your audience to a new blog on the block but hey, that's Blogville for you. I also try to blog more but since I work and can't let blogging affect my work, I'd rather have it the other way round - LOL OK SO WHERE IS THAT ANSWER EHN ...

So Why oh why are my responses skewed? Hiss. I can imagine reading this and saying this Mona must feel oh as if she is always hounded by paparazzi. Apologies to any readers who probably raised an eyebrow when they read my article.

Oh well, those who know me know me. Mona is not proud neither does she brag and tries as much as possible to update because she is always M.I.A. guess the PR is good so thanks to them but like Taureanminx's disclaimer too, I have learnt that as diplomatic as you try to be, Magazines will be Magazines....lol

Next off, England is now SMOKE FREE! The smoking ban commenced on Sunday the 1st of July and now, people can't smoke in public e.g. malls, restaurants, bars, pubs, clubs, hehehe...at least I know when I go out, my hair will smell fresh at the end of the night. Check out www.smokefreeengland.co.uk/July1st

It is also a bid to reduce the extremely high risk of cancer via smoking/second-hand smoke. I bet you all knew that though :-)

Lastly, look what I found! Brings back memories! :o)

Dodgy!

News

India rattled by vibrating condom - BBC News


Insurance Advert - Funny

For cheap student insurance - Karma Insurance (lol) karma abi?

Even dodgier (SA News for laughs):

Joburg is making itself respectable, and its our duty to help as far as we can. therefore, job titles will be "upgraded" (as was approved in parliament) and we have to familiarise ourselves with these titles just in case some foreigner is listening when we are talking....;

NEW JOB TITLES IN THE NEW SOUTH AFRICA in preparation for 2010!!!

Gardener : Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist

House Maid : Family Environs Upkeep Manager

Receptionist :Front Office Manager/Office Access Control Specialist

Typist / Secretary : Printed Document Handler

Messenger : Business Communications Conveyer

Window Cleaner : Transparent Wall Technician Temporary

Teacher :Associate Tutor

Tea lady : Refreshment Overseer

Garbage Collector : Public Sanitation Technician

Watchman/security : Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer or Wealth Distribution Prevention Officer

Prostitute : Practical Sexual Relations Officer

Thief : Wealth Distribution Officer

Driver : Automobile Propulsion Specialist

House Assistant/Maid : Domestic Operations Specialist

Employee without Portfolio : Administration Manager

Cook : Food Preparation Officer

Murderer : Population Stabilizer

Beggar : Financial Gatherer Cleaner : Hygiene Specialist

Do Not Forget

Unemployed :Township Management

Gossiping :Research Management HOLA!!!!!!!!! Live from SA!

Now, the not so dodgy stuff:

Emaginephotos - my dear friend (although I haven't seen her in a while) - Mrs Nkwoji's photo service and photoblog are ab fab! Emagine Photography. She takes good shots and applies great post processing in some cases, so check out her photoblog. Some of her pics below:

Bella, also has some stuff on the opening/launch night of Made Mags


Back to the slightly dodgy:

Monique at the very recent BET Music Awards doing a Beyonce - NOT BAD (she was the host).

In case you missed the Awards, some more coverage for you here:

Watch Beyonce's mad performance and featuring Kelly Rowland/Eve

Damn, they removed it, check it out here on DailyMotion. Thanks Anonymous! :o)

Suzy Peaches' Fruit Basket (Issue #11)

Hello my lovely readers,

I'm so sorry I have not been in touch for a couple of weeks now. I've been swamped with work.

Neways I'm back and I trust you are well. I think this week I'll draw our discussion closer to home. And when I say home I need in literally – HOME.

Home is not only where you live but also where your heart is. For me home includes absolutely everybody that affects me directly or indirectly as well as the people who affect those who I love directly or indirectly.
As you can see my net expands daily.

Now let’s tighten the reigns of that net…

What is your vision for your home? What did you think or should I say dream your life would be like?
Can it be compared to how it is today? Now think of the role you have played in the symbiosis.

To be honest I don't really have anything exceptional to say this week. I however will like to share my favourite poem with you. The Poison Tree by William Blake.

The Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright,
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole,
When the night had veiled the pole.
In the morning, glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.


The poem talks about the consequences of unforgiveness. I can hear you ask "What has this got to do with me?" – The answer is simple: - The condition of your heart determines your productivity and could hinder you achieving your purpose. The bottom line is if you are happy with yourself and your relationships – You’ll be in a better place to start achieving your life goals and ambitions.

We all know the story of the prodigal son, may I suggest you read it again but this time consider the brother who didn’t leave. The brother who stay with his father – Can you now see how easy it is to justify unforgiveness?

Enough said. Enjoy your weekend.

Love always,

Suzy

(Untitled)

Video on YouTube - How To Pick Up Nigerian Women (Toooo Funny)

Mona's Comment: Please note this is not how to pick up all Nigerian Women, for those who are not aware - although this is slightly common, it does not always happen like this lol (I bow my head in shame lol)

Video on YouTube - Fish Go Deep Dancing (This is SERIOUS)

Mona's Comment: I think at one point he spanked himself and at another point he slipped, am I right?

Mona's Blog Roll:

I'm shouting out an interesting blog this week - The Passion of A Writer by my friend, Adeola Adelekun.

It is a very inspiring blog for Christian Singles, talking about real life situations a lot of young people find themselves in and words of advice. I'm loving her writing style, check it out!
P.S. Are you guys feeling my shout out pic? As in REAL SHOUT OUT.

LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST!

Check out DonChiChi (friend and fellow blogger) starring as Timon in the Lion King at The Muson Centre, Onikan, Lagos on the 29th and 30th of June. So for those in Lagos, try and make it. See flyer below:

Gist!

............hehe ways to catch readers' attention 101 (no gist oh!)

Well I have some yarning to do (aren't you guys happy? - MONA IS BACK). Okay apparentlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, I sound like some Sultry Seductress on my Voice Player - DOUBLE LAWL! Gimme a break guys, that was my CoolFM Nightshift Show voice jo! You know like when they begin to play Jodeci and Toni Braxton, etc. past midnight.

Anyway sha it ain't no 0901 voice and for those who were getting excited when they heard it - keep you knickers on (...I also did not mean that literally).

Okay so,

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Mona is not a sultry seductress, her voice is just nice HAHAHA ok well her CoolFM Nightshift Show voice. Thanks for leaving voice comments guys!

Now, next.......one of my avid readers mentioned I never explained why I was M.I.A for that long and she was waiting. Well, okay so here is my explanation....I eloped to another continent.....with a loved one, left my family, friends, blogging, work....and put all my eggs in that basket....obviously the basket had massive holes and all the eggs cracked, so I ran back!

Okay, okay seriously....ehn well I went on holiday and jetlag did not permit me to update as much as I wanted to jare. I'm back sha - take it or leave it.

Mona's Weekender :o)

Calabar Gal bought a book to get rid of her accent - check it out here.

Recently re-discovered Wale Adeyemi's website so check it out. Amerie, Charlotte Church and Estelle are amongst those who wear his stuff. Cool huh?

Please check out the following site - www.acousticgospel.com and their myspace where you can listen to some of their tracks - sure is something! :o)

I Can't Forget the Ladies:

For the Ladies - Oprah's Five Friends Every Woman Should Have - check it out here

The following video is for both ladies and gents oh, Alicia Keys reciting a poem on Def Poetry Jam - Amazing:

Ain't forgotten Nollywood Either:

Also, check out NaijaVixen's incredible post, featuring the movie which is coming out soon titled - The Missing Goat Meat!

Miss ChiChi also tells me there will be a premiere of the movie - The Return of Beyonce (hehe trust Nollywood).....being held in Manhattan and Brooklyn this weekend. Also check her post for some other Nollywood stuff.

More on the event at http://www.payless4movies.com/event.html

It's a WRAPPPPPPPPPPPP!

A Few Funny Things I Heard This Week

Hahahahahahahahah!

I was going out for lunch with one of my Chinese friends and we decided to get some Vegetarian curry (ehn before any of you say anything, I wasn't too excited at the idea of no meat but I didn't mind hehe). Anyway, we got there and there were a few random things on offer, a bit like when you get to a Naija restaurant and there are Naija movies, phone cards, flyers, tickets for sale, etc. However, there were a few queer things available for sale in this Asian canteen besides phonecards et. al....my eyes scanned the list and it stopped at Vegetarian Viagra - SAY WHAAT? We just froze at the same time and looked at each other lollll. Never heard of that but I sure have learnt something new this week. Viagra suitable for vegetarians, so what are they like gluten free or what? Sheesh. LOL

------------------------------------------------------------------

Yea, so I was talking to my girlfriend, Tanny, on the phone the other day...it was kind of late at night and we were talking about a lot of random stuff and then the following conversation came up:

Tanny: So I had this Ghanaian friend in Uni and one day she was gisting us about how she was dating some guy named Rodney, they split up later and a few years down the line she heard he had been 'sectioned'.

Mona: Sectioned as inn sectioned?

Tanny: Yes oh, sectioned (mental health).... first off who dates someone named Rodney sef? When you see that kind of name, shouldn't you run? Anyway yeah so one day after they split up, he calls the girl randomly and starts talking to her and then goes "did I ever tell you about my tail?" The girl was obviously dazed.

[Note - this conversation was actually as a result of a discussion on "inbreeding" and the outcomes - i.e. some people are born with deformities as a result, I don't know about tails sha]

Mona: Tail as inn tail (i.e. rabbit's tail, that kind of tail)? So did he really have a tail?

Tanny: Nooo nowwww obviously the guy had gone off the rails so he was talking out of his @$&%

Mona: Phew! Men cos I was about to go and switch my lights on cos I ain't going to sleep with thoughts of a guy wagging his tail men.

Mona and Tanny: LOL

Random story but we laughed for like 5 mins....'twas quite funny especially b'cos I believed.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Last but not least, Dimples (a regular commenter on blogville) called my attention to an excerpt in Naijafineboy's blog, read below and LAWL yourself to death:

Apparently, after leaving the club last weekend, she and her friends went to the Den. (This Nige food spot in London). She now heard this egbon (big bros) on the phone talking to some chick. The guy goes “Baby, you are too funny. Lawl lawl lawl lawl!”I wan die men! As in the guy was actually saying “LOL” on the phone, like “Lawl, lawl, lawl!” Oh my days, only Naija man. If you don’t know what the hell it means, why say it? Na wa o.

Truth be told - I cackled like a witch for almost half an hour at this joke - Dimples can testify. Funny now I don't believe it's true and if it is, KAIIIII........nice one Fineboy.

Mallam......We Love Your Suya

For those who ain't seen this yet! YUM