Ridiculous Things We Do

Perhaps the fact that it's February (Valentine's month) is what makes this post rather convenient - talking about gifts and what to get him and all that i.e. directed at the ladies. Before I start off with my much awaited post. I'd like to share a few things here and there.

  • Today is the Nigeria vs. Ghana footbal match - starts at 7.45pm and I will be there heheh - that is if I'm not stood up! LOL!

Check out Naijavixen's blog for more info.

  • As Vals day is on its way, Uzo and Bella have informed us about the show at Oceanview - strictly for the lovers hehe.
  • Snazzy has an interesting version of news in Naija. (Guess this is not so much news anymore but it's a good post.)
  • I found the best Valentines day gift for us ROASTOS - click here and tell me what you think. I'm serious!

Now, to my post of the week. I thought about the title for a looong while because it came into my head in all sorts of variations:

  1. Ridiculous things Girls do for Guys
  2. The Most Ridiculous Things People Do For the Opposite Sex
  3. Ridiculous Things We Do

....and decided to stick with the third. I am sure we have all done ridiculous things (some a bit more extreme than others and some out of this world) for boys/guys/men - call em whatever! We have done them in relationships, out of relationships, to people we like or fancy and to people who don't even know us.

I could go on and on and list the different types but I will like to emphasize that the reason why I say "ridiculous" is because these things are "out of the ordinary", they are not the normal things a lot of us have done such as:

  • Being his doormat
  • Being his bank account
  • Handwashing his clothes
  • Getting his name tattoed on your body
  • Ignoring all your friends and adopting his.

Call em normal huh? Anyways that is what my board of directors for this topic suggested so I have to stick with these. Apparently, even things like:

  • Buying him a car
  • Giving your salary to him
  • Marrying the guy you love to keep him in the country and then he cheats on you and divorces you when he gets his papers
  • Ignoring your friends cos you're busy at work but when he rings you drop everything, go home and make 3 differen dishes and get all dressed up

....are still classified okay. AH! Okay now. So what exactly are these ridiculous things? P.s. some names, places and dates have been modified for identity-protection purposes.

Case 1: Tayo and Kehinde met during their A-Levels in boarding school and dated for a while and considering the way boarding school is, they got to see each other everyday and do almost everything together so they were seen as quite serious (college-wise anyway). About 8 months later, Tayo, being the boy that he is, decided he was getting bored and no longer interested in Kehinde. We all thought oh okay, typical idiot boy! Next thing, Kehinde was not having it oh. After a few days of crying and begging, she was found one day, lying on the grass, with his name carved into her thigh with a pair of scissors! Oh come the hell on! As innnn - HISS.

Case 2: Moroti and Titi had been dating for a while (we're talking after uni, working-class here) and they were all good, he was really successful and she could be seen as a control freak I guess. While they were still in the dating phase (phase 2-3 if I remember), they both went to Naija a few Christmases ago. Moroti actually didn't know what he had in his suitcases till he got to his house in Lagos 'cos she'd done all his shopping and packed his cases for his trip -- down to his underwear. CHILLLLL. You'll be glad to know they are happily married now!

Case 3: In a book called Crimes of passion, in 1954.....some French woman killed her own daugther for her 'lover' (said with a french accent) and you know what he said to her? He had no intentions of falling in love with her, and she was certainly not the girl of his dreams, but he intended to make her his mistress. How does a guy say this to you......then say to you 'murder you daughter' and you do it????? WOMEN!!!

Case 4: A few years ago, Modupe used to wear all black: as in black lip stick, along with short black skirts (and even black fish net tights) when she was seeing some random guy (all because he found all that stuff sexy). Now she tells me, apparently she looked hideous (no sh*t) according to her brother and she thanks God the relationship lasted only two months!

Case 5: Ngozi lives in North London and met a guy at a bar on a Sunday evening about two months ago. He is a mutual friend of hers and they had a nice time. She reckons she is really feeling him and claims she knows a lot about him including the fact that he goes to the gym every morning before going to work; hence he wakes up at 3am. What does Ngozi decide to do? Take a wild guess, she wakes up at 3.30am every morning and drives to his gym in Stratford from North London.....exercises for about 45 mins and leaves at 6am. She's at home by 8am, changes clothes ('cos she's already showered) and can still get to work for 9am. Not only ridiculous but I have to give it to her, she's a HUSTLER! Hope something comes out of THAT and if not, at least she'd have lost some weight!

Case 6: (I think I've told everyone about this already and apparently it's quite common!) Hannatu used to cook a pot of either efo/ogbono/fried rice along with meat stew /okra soup/Fish stew every Saturday morning and got on the 3 hour train (with the pot) from Cardiff to hand deliver this yummy delight to her toaster in London. I sure hope he was paying (and not in KIND!).....especially as the poor girl really never got to study at weekends - Caterers ultd.

Case 7: Back in Vivian Fowler, (my sister reminded me of this one actually), Wonu bought Ini a pair of Gucci loafers for Vals day when we were in J.S.2. Well not so ridiculous now but back then wtf? Well anyways there were rich kids and there were rich kids.

Case 8: My friend confessed she once stalked a guy to Marylebone station every day for a month and she is actually NORMAL. (Or maybe she isn't?)

Case 9: Jacqueline paid for her boyfriend to go on a "Lads Holiday" during which he cheated on her. I need to go and slap her actually, what was she thinking? - Lads holiday, but then it's not her fault is it? How was she to know he would cheat if she trusted him previously? Plus the idiot confessed and ended it, made her feel even more stupid.

Case 10: Rowena drove up to Leeds to see Jide all the way from Luton one evening and drove back to Luton again because he told her he was going out with his mates when she got there.

WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK? Do you think these are acceptable or some of these girls may be on drugs? We are in 2007 - please bear this in mind LOL.

On the other hand, Suzy Peaches says:

As the title implies us women will do, can do and have done ridiculous things to please or help the men we love. To be honest I'm never in relationships long enough to cough up large amounts but I have heard stories of people doing things like paying mortgages, bills, signing for hire purchases, taking out credit cards and even taking the wrap for many criminal offences.

I learnt quite early on in life that any man who asks or constantly requires you to pick up his bills is no man for me. But then again how were we to know that he was/is a SCRUB? That is another topic in itself ………..
Here are a few stories and illustrations of things that some women have done for men.

· When I was much younger I once got conned into paying £280 on a shopping spree with a boyfriend that claimed he left his card at home. Did I ever get the money back – Hell no!

· To be honest I think the "I left my card/wallet at home" trick is the oldest in the book. My friend once paid for a £90 dinner date and like that wasn't bad enough he threw in £60 theatre tickets - £150 she ought not have spent on a date.

I can almost hear you saying surely you should know better than that but I say wait until it happens to you . . .

Mona says: hmmmmm Suzy Peaches dunno too much about that! I may have been naive in the past but I sure have learnt from my experiences, so hopefully that sh-- ain't gonna start happening to me not now or in the future anyways LOL. But I feel you sha!

Quote of the week:

Don't Put All Your Eggs in One Bast*rd

LOL thanks to Pink Panther for that!

Many thanks to all my girlfriends who contributed to this post! You know who you are :o) Love you all and a Happy Vals Day in advance! xxx

Please leave your comments and tell us more stories too!


Anonymous said...

men amaramarz, those r sme next level stories!!!! how far wif d babe tha cut her thigh with scissors!!! she needs to chill abeg!!! i mean iv prolly done sme crazy things but thats just wrong!!

Anonymous said...

that was me unto mistake :)

Bella Naija said...

Wow...these stories r hectic!
I dont even understand anymore - i seem to hear a lot of stories of babes doing crazy things for dudes especially in jand...did they put something in the water?
I've heard of babes buying guys cars
Transferring uni (therefore losing a year)

Anyways, great post!

Bee said...

Would love to say that i can't understand why women put themselves thru these things...but i have fallen for crap like that in the past. I once spent $800 on a shopping spree my ex-BF was supposed to pay for..... THE FOOL CLAIMED HE LEFT HIS CREDIT CARD AT HOME, he promised to give me back the money.....its been 5 years and i'm still waiting. I used to be maddddd as hell.... but now i can actually laugh at the whole situation

Biodun said...

I thought I had done crazy stuff for guys until I read these stories, wowwwwwwww, ok I once flew in EVERY month for OVER 1 yr to see a guy for over a year n he came to see me like twice the whole time we were 2gether! As in, was I that desperate ni, lol, my consolation was that he paid for my tickets though, lol.

Azuka said...

Lol, those are real mugus.

So Mona, which did you do?

Anonymous said...

For a lot of us, pointing of accusing fingers is perceived as an innate inclination; hence we feel no compunction in judging the act of others but instead dictate what is mundane or batty. However, the question is “what is the Ok?”

Individuals differ in all aspects of life, in cultural backgrounds, socio-economic groups, mental and emotional stability et al. All which alter the perception, understanding and actions of people in accordance to episodes they may encounter at some point in their lives.

I agree with Suzy Peaches on the note that you never know till you are faced with the situation. It is pertinent to realise we are non-clairvoyant, and we cant certify our acts but merely predict, noting the prediction is a hypothesis based on a vicarious experience, because it is human nature to surprise ones-self .

Are you able to form a conspectus of the picture? In other words “We all love differently, and loathe differently”, which is primarily influenced by individual differences.

Another important point to take on board is looking beyond the obvious, but into what might be the causative agent of the resultant condition, or just much deeper.

My friend meticulously explained to me at the beginning of the year how people have the proclivity to comprehend what is apparent i.e. shallow without exploring with depth.

Some of these girls may do these things not just because they are sprung or feel obliged to reward the dalliance they enjoy, but have other reasons.

For example, a girl cutting off her friends and adopting her boyfriend’s compadre, may purely be coincidental, and may have inevitably happened regardless of her relationship, and her resultant friendship with her “man’s friends" might emanate out of convenience and proximity, not deliberate. In some cases, it’s an agreement between both parties, we might see the girl as sprung but the guy may be the most of uxorious/submissive men.

In conclusion, it’s ok to be amazed, shocked at the acts of some of our girlfriends when it comes to their men/boyfriend/ f**k-buddies etc. but it is not our place to regard them Ridiculous, but Affordable.

I hope the girl in case 5 “Lost the weight and Gained the man.”

Suzy Peaches said...

Amy Papaya I have 2 words for you "Oyinbo Po". With regards to your glib argument of Ridiculous vs. Affordable my response is SAME DIFFERENCE. The fact that you can afford an action doesn't and shouldn’t influence its ability to be classed as Ridiculous. Here is a short illustration to drive home my point. "A man has just come into money - £250,000 to be exact and he lives in rented accommodation. He then decides to blow it on a top of the range Bentley! Do you think his actions can be described as ridiculous? He definitely can afford the car now - but would it not have been better to throw the money into acquiring a property of his own.
Anyway back to the love issue at hand I think our actions are always evidence of what we a naturally predisposed to doing. The Ridiculous Factor is therefore relative and depends on how low or should I say how high your threshold for being a fool for love is.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

Lads retreat? hmmm...can we say M U M U?????

anyways passing thru....Blogger Bachelorette has started...dont forget to come vote for your favorite bachelor

Kush said...

Come on Girls this war of the sexes is getting really tired. Do you want us guys to start dissing the sisters? Give it a rest please.

Mari said...

hmmm, crazy stories. Was really looking forward to this post. Milk lady, you've done it again!

Case 1 is sooo alarming. Case 2 isn't such a bad thing as long as there's appreciation for the efforts. Case 5 is hella funny mehn. More grease to her elbows.
Now case 10 is a piss take assuming she did mention she was going to be driving out there.

Hope there's more sha. Loving this.

Mari said...

hmmm, crazy stories. Was really looking forward to this post. Milk lady, you've done it again!

Case 1 is sooo alarming. Case 2 isn't such a bad thing as long as there's appreciation for the efforts. Case 5 is hella funny mehn. More grease to her elbows.
Now case 10 is a piss take assuming she did mention she was going to be driving out there.

Hope there's more sha. Loving this.

Aramide said...

@ Mari, the milklady always delivers (wink)

@ Kush, there was never a war lol, this is a mere re-iteration of what girls do, nobody forces the girls to do it most times and other times the guys do, the question is why? So don't get all touchy okay. I actually love boys/men! Mmmmm (kiss)

@ Pink Panther is ridiculousity a word?

@ Suzy peaches -- a guy has a right to decide whether he wants to buy a bentley or invest in a house, you see it as more logical to get property, not everyone necessarily thinks so...e.g. those that live life on the fast lane, birth, money, floss, mud? Anyways just an opinion hehe

@ Amy Papaya - what tha?

@ Azuka,Biodun,Bee,BN - hmm well no more muguisms hehehe....I have done the money bit (insert shy face here), still waiting for my refund

Jennifer A. said...

lolll..Azuka called them mugus. Thats kinda harsh! Eyahhhh, na wa o...I pray less and less people belittle themselves like this...for people who don't even care abt their status quos...

Lolll @ ur suggested gift for roastos...happy vals day in advance Mona. I'm sure that day is gonna rock, after all this hype!


Naija Vixen said...

han han wat sef u dis chick?u killed it...but seriously,WTF @ the "pheromones attracting d opposite sex thing"...i want "beche" val's present dat i can show pple wiv out grossing/attracting them;-) great post oh jare!

laspapi said...

your post reminded me again that 'everybody is somebody's fool'.

Don't let the pain of the past poison the future, is what I'll say to all the ladies in the house.
Mona says she's wiser now (and probably harder). It shouldn't be like that.

I'm going to look for ridiculous things men have done for females and put 'em up too so as to balance Mona's report a bit.

Anonymous said...

Now some of those cases are just ridiculous, but I'm not going to judge anyone today, not in the mood!

snazzy said...

I will grudgingly agree that some (not all) of the 10 cases can not be classified as normal girl behavior. So u can now scream I told u so as loud as u like. Nice one!

Oh and thanks for the shout out.

Anonymous said...

Mona nice post :) cracked me up at work but im feeling those peeps though...spending on ur bf who claims 2 have 4gotten his wallet...eh? sorry ooh as 4 me i never forget 2 get it back trust me...ive learnt now but i guess its easy if ur still in d relationship cuz an easy way to solve it is do d same thing & owe him the same amount lol....CONTRA in accounting :)



Noni Moss said...

Hmm - No.5 - that is some die-hard moves. I really hope she gets the guy cos that is crazy!

No 6 - is very unfortunately common and I still don't get it - it is most appalling to realise some women/girls still think that is the best way to get a guy. The fact that she travelled all the way from Cardiff every weekend is even more galling.

No 10 - the guy was just rude. That is just the height. he could at least have made the effort to include her in his plans if he couldn't cancel. I hope she stopped seeing him after that.

Anonymous said...

good thing he had a short name ROFLMAO

zaiprincesa said...

lol..LMAO...guess the moral of the story is, "dont be a fool for love"...

Anonymous said...

I know a friend whose boyfriend beat her to the point of leaving a mark on her boobs, shwoooo…. all because the girl rang and abused one other babe that the bf was toasting. Infact her story ‘angers’ me cos she went to beg after all the beatings (2 separate occasions). But I guess we are or have been victims of the ‘love is blind situation’, that’s my explanation to why a girl would act preposterously all for a guy. I remember going to my ex for the wkend once, first while trying to help me take his clothes out of the machine an empty sachet of condom fell out dude kept a straight face and said he had no idea how it got there, I let that slide Went to his room and found another on his bed stand, his excuse was ‘ ore mi lo lo’! ‘sigh’..All I can say is LOVE WAS BLIND

Unknown said...

True Talk Girl!! The things some people do for love and no matter how much u try to warn them, they think u're probably jealous of them.

Anonymous said...

Honestly I found the stories quite illarious! On a more serious note though, quite sad really.

Noni Moss said...

Hmmph - have another one for you - ran up a phonebill of £400+ because I was talking to some dude in Nigeria.


Anonymous said...

shiiiiiiiiiii.....I'm just reading all these....

I thot some things I'd done were damn stupid till I read some of these stories....wtf??? cut ur thighs with what??? now, thats just crazzzzzzzzzzy..

Unknown said...

Sad and funny...it says a lot about self-esteem issues that we women often have when we are searching for Mr Right. A friend once told me how when she was in secondary school in Naija she had a boyfriend who was in Uni in the same town and she used to sneak out of school to go and spend sometime with him in his face me I face you room and parlor (which at the time she thought was heaven on earth). One day she went to see him and within hours of getting there, another older babe came to see him. He introduced my friend as his little cousin and the two of them spent the night in the bedroom, while my friend slept on the floor in the parlor. The next morning, the older babe even gave my friend ten naira transport money for her to catch the bus back to school.