Registration: 09-08-07

Okay i promised to put this on Wednesday or Thursday but time is money guys.....Dimples, as those in blogville know her, has an entire account of her NYSC Registration - FUN!

P.S. All Rights Reserved to this journal (by Dimples). Naz wanted me to publish his own NYSC diary too, a couple of months back, but he created his own blog and did it himself hence the absence of further "Sunday Corper Diaries" for those who were wondering. But you can read his own here.


REGISTRATION - Thursday, 9th of August 2007

Still not understanding why I have travelled over the Atlantic Ocean to put myself through this madness called NYSC (of which I still don’t understand the use of anyways…but as it is Naija God dey sha).

So the quest for this NYSC certificate begins with my mum and I setting off to catch a 9am Virgin Nigeria flight to ABUJA - "??" got to the airport and bumped into my friend Lols for whichever reason had been moved from her 7am flight....…being the Jand babes that we are…running across the seating area screaming, hugging, and blowing air kisses (…come on ya’ll know how you Jand peeps roll now!!!)

After a decent 55mins flight we landed in rainy ABJ and caught a =N=3000 taxi to this uncompleted piece of work called the NYSC HQ opposite the High Court in Maitama……not a good sight so much mud everywhere…bearing in mind it was raining…mud+rain = not a good look. See people rolling their trousers like Agbereo’s and Area boys in Mushin.

So we start going from one room to another in this uncompleted building…as in I mean like no bannisters on the really,m don’t look and stay focused and I guess you shall be visitng Baba God earlier than expected! I know Gary, my old Health and Safety manager would have a few things to say about that! Clearly no windows anywhere..…but if I remember now..I saw a few doors sha.

Finally we get to this “Evaluation” room obviously confirmed by the few designer bags, proper use of MAC makeup on the girls, and foreign accents floating through the airwaves…Oh how I love Naija’s abroad!!!

We got ushered into the room with shouts of “sit down there”, ”no there”, “please dress in”…If I had any doubts that I was in the wrong room all that had been tarnished now…...based on the stories I had heard. So we got put in front of a lady called Mama W (how so freaking un-professional whatever happened to Mr or Mrs so and so???)

So our new friend Mama W, who pretty much had our fates in her hands gave Lols and I this massive book which supposedly held all the Colleges/Universities in the world which I found rather impressive for us to look for our universities and we also gave her our documents-photocopies and originals. Mama W now asked us to take our originals to her “Madam” for a once over so she can accept and give us a registration form.

Now Madam was just a rude woman (not really sure if she didn’t like the job or had been starved of sex for way too long), for every document she looked at or didn’t need she flung back at Lols and in it was a serious case of concentration to see what direction your transcript was flying to before it landed on the muddy floors of Madam’s office. As in this woman was just barking at us, this tiny thing that I would probably have brushed anywhere else….....but being a Jand babe (STORY!!!) one had to behave themselves and I really didn’t want my mother seeing that she has raised some sort of tout.

Ok to back to Mama W’s desk to fill our badly photocopied forms and sending my poor mother in the rain to photocopy a part of my passport that Mama W seemed to have interest in all of a sudden. After just over an hour, registration is complete with my mum giving Mama W (our NYSC Saviour) =N=3000 for Coke…at this time I am trying to understand how many bottles of coke she can possible drink for that amount.

Still waiting for Lols who had also embarked on the photocopying mission in the rain I was just feasting my eyes on the Naija home video being played out in front of me.

1.) 6 foot tall lepa aunty that couldn’t find her Uni in the massive book. We met and left aunty there still looking in the book…lol….apparently when your Uni isn’t in the book…LONG THING......LONG THING to the Ministry of Education possibly after about 3 trips you MIGHT just be successful…so ya’ll out there with dodgy certificates…sort it out!!!

2.) Uni of Porstmouth UK dude that was just firing some wacky American accent as in dude sounded like he had just stepped off a Chico Ejiro movie set…the more he was blowing the accent the more he was asked to “dress” closer and closer to the door.

3.) Fine babe from Tulsa that didn’t seem to have a freakin clue…nothing photocopied.…Madam descended on her a few times…my girl looked like she was going to cry…lol…but NO as in really didn’t she have friends that had served…I think Tulsa chic needs to be initiated into blogville to get some more info in her life.

Tried taking a few photo’s without using flash..but didn’t really come out well…but honestly I was just scared of Madam catching me and throwing me and my camera out of the space created for the window.

On our way out Lols and I are asked to fill out a book and return sometime between the 1st-3rd of September with our passports to collect our call up letters
Now I am getting into the zone and mind frame for 3 weeks of camp…God help me…I shall keep you posted if I make it through sha!!

To all you lovely people have a FAB day ahead!

- Transcript (all the parts you have) - Photocopies and Originals
- Secondary School Leaving Certificate- WAEC, NAECO, IGCSE, Cambridge O’levels…whatever
- Passport (page with your face, Nigerian Stamps showing the day you left and returned to Nigeria)
- 3 Passport Photographs for the forms (u would need another 10-15 for I guess u can do everything at once

Love from Dimples-the official chief commenter of blogville…lawl lawl..ok self-acclaimed.

(Mona says ==> sorry guys, Dimples' camp didn't happen lol after all the drama but the read was worth it ;o))

Have a good weekend y'all xxx


Dimples said...

LOL...that was fun sha...but it was a real shame I didn't actual get to do camp..least of all the whole freaking NYSC...but's it's all good...i'm ready 2 put myself through this madness again in a year or 2 from now.

Anonymous said...

All in all well said, but she didn't do justice to that NYSC building. You know how a simple building is supposed to have 4 walls, the NYSC building has 3. There is a side without a wall as in "if breeze blow, you fit fall to your death o". And the irony of it is that, it is actually called the new NYSC building.
Please leave Mama W, she's a soldier!

Aramide said...

lol @ Mama W

Dimples we love ur diary it is hilarious

laspapi said...

good one, mona, the vintage inept Nigerian Official. After all that trouble, dimples didn't do camp?

Miss Opeke said...

Dimple, U shud go and tank Baba God dat u didn't go...or mosquitoes wud hv bath ur beautiful jand skin with red

Tutsy said...

LMAO....Okay Mona, I gotta give it to your girl Dimples...she delivered "blowing air kisses... jand girl runs" is soooo ace M.O.J is so guilty of that....wonder why y'all do that.

Now that uncompleted buildings with no bannisters....odikwa so not appropriate...what if someone falls to thier death....that's a lawsuit waiting to happen....that "ish" is so not cool. And by the way "Madam" needs to take chill pill...wonder why people who are "in-charge" in naija always have to act like they are God... Don't understand why folks back home delight so much pleasure in people kissing their ass and sucking up to them..Trust my fast mouth to have sassed the shit out her if she flung my documents....If she hates her job...she should ain't like someone has a gun to her head....Maybe na bad belle dey worry u screwed up her life..shio.

Oh and the Tulsa girl..probably doesn't know anyone who has ever served back home...Would admit that i was that naiive till about two yrs ago when folks i graduated with started heading back home to serve. So maybe she's fresh out of school. All in all, great write-up Dimples...abeg, fill us in on more gist..i'm so loving this!!!

Anonymous said...

LOL @ Dress Closer... do u have ur NYSC certificate now...

Dimples said...

Lol…YYT definitely got the description of the building on check…Yes oh Mama W the real solider!!!
Mona baby I love u too thanks for the opportunity!!!
@ Laspapi-At all o..even till now sef those dudes don’t seem to have an offical date yet…but people are saying 16th of Oct sha….but yeah yeah I have heard way to many dates now.
@Miss Opeke…yes o…the small freshness I have left they want to destroy.
@ Tutsy…lol…thanx jare…totally loving ur own sense of human too.

Dimples said...

Demola at all o..perhaps @ the moment in Naija no camp registration=no certificate....BUT STORY STORY...knowing Naija someone will reproduce it from somewhere...but me I really want 2 do camp sha..u know jumping,climbing and all that.

Aramide said...

me too! :o)

Shaywun said...

That was definitely hilarious! I could really see myself in the Tulsa girl's shoes sha - I would be absolutely clueless myself!!! I left Nigeria when I was 14 and 3-4 of those years was spent schooling in another WA country. It wasn't until a couple of years ago before I completely understood the whole serving thing. The thought of climbing, jumping and making new firends is all so tempting, very tempting. But putting myself through all that process with all the attitude, I think I'll be pretty much denied to start camp!

Unbiased said...

We nigerians can have fun in the worst of conditions. I served in Adamawa and despite the horrible conditions of sleeping and bathing outside for my 1st week, i had a blast. But looking back now? damn it was hell. We all made it thru tho. lol!!!

Andrew F. Alalade said...

Once I become president, I will scrap that crazy thing called "CAMP"'s absolutely useless!
Na waah for the bottles of Coke sha!

Femme said...

i never understand why people look for ward to it.
i served in abuja too. did u see MAD DOG?

Aijay said...

I'd love to move back home but its stories like this & other horrid tales about NYSC/camp that deter me.
I'm with Andy on this. I think it should be scrapped.
Isn't there a way to avoid it & get the certificate??