Milklady's Clicks

LASTMA TRAFFIC REPORT

Now you can get the traffic report in and around Lagos, before you set out on your journey. Just click here to check what the traffic status is (lol - only there is no status, they haven't updated it in yonks, God help us!)

However, you can call their traffic hotline (which is not toll-free) on 01-7743026 and 01-4703325. I can imagine a frustrated aunty answering those phones telling you she doesn't know because she is not on the road at the moment.



TAUREANMINX ON NOLLY


Check out taureanminx's post for the new Nollywood movie trailer of "Amazing Grace", it is a high quality production by Jeta Amata.



CALL-A-CAB LAGOS


I'm sure many are aware of this, you can now call a cab (24 hours a day) in Lagos oh and youll be sure it'll get to you asap, given there is no traffic and if LASTMA are doing their job click here to check it out.



BELLA'S HOT PICKS - OPRAH STYLE

Source - bellanaija.blogspot.com

Bella Naija has some amazing Naija picks this week featuring stuff like Peridot & Ruby's new skirts, etc. Click here to look at her list.



LASPAPI'S COLLECTION



Laspapi has an interesting list of the unsolved murders in Nigeria and other absurdities - a good read/glance! Click here (p.s. Laspapi is extremely talented, he has produced several plays, his most recent was The Gods are not to Blame, check out pics on his blog, scroll down).
P.s. Call me the milklady cos I always deliver ;o) ;o)

17 comments:

Thoughts said...

Another Mona is a counterfeit.Word

Dimples said...

Nice one!!! but honestly will u call Naija's version of Addison Lee???
I think not!!!..nothing like having your own ride.
Traffic update my ass..i can imagine a grumpy ass woman telling u".....this is going to take a long time...if u can't seat and wait inside go-slow...then don't go out at all....or better still catch Okada"

Have a FAB weekend to all!!!

Pink Panther said...

I must say Mona a.k.a Naija to the core.. nice range of topics today..keep up the good work..

traffic update....(yeah right..).. it would be.. and today we have a serious case of hold up 'everywhere'.. and two hrs later....errr and u guessed it!.. more hold up 'everywhere'... hiss...

Amazing Grace looks interesting..i do have to say it looks like they went all out for this one.. i'm impressed from the little i have seen..go Nollywood.. go Nollywood go!!!( a bit too excited)

the unsolved murders in Naija by laspapi?? should be written into a book..( would buy it).. but i have this worrying feeling that the person that writes the book might just be another unsolved murder added to the book..

Mona said...

Pink Panther u wont kill me lol!

snazzy said...

this comment is because mona asked and so if its boring its her fault. This is a brief account of my first and hopefully my last encounter with lastma on my return to lagos. I was on my way to VI and chose to go through tafewa balewa and basically from there u merge with the traffic coming from eko bridge. Now lastma has these cones up and one side is for ikoyi and the other is for vi. It was raining, and so people were doing gra-gra and I was on the phone and so I just followed a car in front of me. Apparently we both drove through the cones instead of entering before the cones were set. So I was told to pull over and three lastma guys hopped in the car. They started speaking to me in yoruba which is only funny to people who know me. The thing they do to scare u is to tell u how much the fine was (45 grand in my case for the talking on the phone and going through the cone) and then they ask u for a ridiculous sum like half and then the barganing starts from there. Now whatever u think of bribery, giving in to them is very tempting cos if u don't u go to the station and that is ur whole day. Know someone that got sent to pysch ward cos disagreed with fine. Anyway I digress. So while they threatened to take me to the office and I asked them what they wanted back and forth as they lowered their expectations I finally decided to give them all the money in my wallet which was a lot less than the starting price but more than I should have paid according to almost everyone. However the most annoying thing was that while they were extorting me for these minor offences I was watching people drive past me the wrong way, knock over the cones, and generally break the more serious rules that were the reason for lastma in the first place. Now the advice I will leave u with is that u should always have a wallet and a large enough amount that they won't laugh and haul u in but small enough that losing it will not result in you robbing someone and then keep the balance somewhere else on your person. Apparently this works for robbery during go-slow as well. Aiight if u also think this is way too long then blame mona for that as well.

Flowy said...

1) snazzy a.k.a. naz has issues
2) the amazing grace seems like it'll be bonz... mona how can we get it on dvd?
3) as in how do you even know what day that traffic control stuff was for? naija sha......

Mona said...

snaz is a nutter

NaijaBloke said...

LASTMA TRAFFIC REPORT ..U r right ..

Seems like they copied and pasted the details on each line sef cos all the causes r High vehicular control or smth and where the date @ on the page and u r calling a cab in Lagos ...if u like urself and u have an interview or very important appointment u berra jump on an Okada

Suby said...

Not been to Nigeria in donkey years but after reading this, I feel I know all thats going on back home :)

Suby

RJ said...

Nice read. But please, did anyone see the rates on "call a cab"...is it only me that thinks its ridiculous? Are the numbers the prices? 'cos I'm wondering if people really pay 2000 for taxis. Oh maybe its in Kobo or something and I have to convert it...

laspapi said...

came looking for my favourite researcher and saw the comments-

@ pink panther- you don't have to write a book to join the 'unsolved' list. Thinking it is enough here now.

@ snazzy- The LASTMA guys probably smelt your 'fear', being the animals they are.
You said they ignored others committing worse offences? Your willingness to pay up (guys from England are always too willing)and English accent probably didn't help matters.

ps. Do get an ear piece for your phone. Will save you a lot of hassle here.

Smooches, mona.

Biodun said...

Nice post, 24 cabs in lagos, hmm, have a nice weekend!

Anonymous said...

thats good oh...24hrs ...hmm check out this new blog i found...its a naija all rounder as well, and i think its new so just show her some love...
http://naijavixen.blogspot.com/

TaureanMinx said...

Lastma reportt LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL. Cool fm is not ad at giving updates though so tune in. Wow I just put a post about lastma, snazzy, I need your input. you can copy and paste he hee. how was your weekend Mona? I'll take that pic of you anytime ur around!.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Mko is our man oh!!!

Bella Naija said...

nice nice!
those lastma peeps r mad ooo
i wouldnt trust their traffic reports...

nice one mona ...hope u had a fun weekend!

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